Alarming statistics tell us that Black males are more likely to be killed in a violent act, more likely to drop out of high school and more likely to be incarcerated than to enroll in college. Researchers also point out that a high incarceration rate is a factor in dwindling enrollment among this population. In fact, more African American men are currently in U.S. prisons than in U.S. colleges.

–Black Issues in Higher Education, Marvin Wilson

During the February before I graduated high school almost four years ago (yes, I’m a young’n ;]), my Dad charged into my room, ordered that I get up immediately and meet my Mom and him in the living room. I knew this meant trouble, for me at least, and I scurried to the living room only to be met with my Dad’s trademark stern look and my Mom’s gaze of disappointment.

I knew I was in for it. I just didn’t know why. But I quickly found out.

My Dad asked, “Have you applied to any colleges yet?” I told him that I was going to start in a couple of weeks. That wasn’t good enough.

“OK, here’s the deal. On Monday, we are going to that Army recruiters office and you’re going to enlist in the military,” he told me.

I looked to my Mom for support—but to no avail.

Tears immediately ran down my face, as I realized how much time I’d wasting doing nothing. My future was at stake; the safety net of high school would be AWOL in a couple of months and I had no plan of action.

That morning changed my life forever.

I applied and was accepted to Texas A&M University-Commerce. Fast forward four years later: I’m finishing up the last leg of my college career, I’m a small business owner and I’ve been granted opportunities to travel the country, advocate for peer education on high-risk issues.

But I realize it’s all because of my parents not allowing me to settle for mediocrity, the faith others had in me and my personal drive to achieve success. Below are some tips I followed. These aren’t just for African American males, everyone can implement into their lives.

Find a support system. My primary support system is my parents and older sister. But I have amazing friends, mentors and role models in my life that offer support when I need it. And when I’m not doing what I need to be doing, they also care enough about me to let me know I should get my act together! Find a few people you respect and cultivate relationships with them. It makes the journey sweeter when you can share your success with others.

Join various organizations. When I tell my Dad how busy I am with work, school and my various organizations, I can hear him smiling through the phone. Seriously. He loves when my time is consumed with positive things. There are only 24 hours in a day, so he knows the more often I am doing things with the organizations that I love, the less likely I am to have time to get into trouble.

Mentor someone who respects your opinions. Although I’m a mentee to many people, I’m a mentor to a few too. It’s so rewarding to share some of your trials and tribulations with other people who truly desire to learn and grow. Believe it or not, we all have a story—and that story might serve as the foundation to building a long-lasting mentorship.

Do some community service. Studies show that engaging in community service leads to positive lifestyle choices, behavior and new perspective. Stop by the assisted living facilities in your neighborhood and read to the elderly one weekend. Help your city by participating in highway clean-up initiatives. Or if you’re pressed for time, make a charitable donation to a worthy cause. It will make you feel better, and help you realize how great life truly is.

Don’t fall into the stats trap. A few teachers and professors along the way told me to hold myself to a higher standard, because they didn’t want to become a statistic. I never looked at life like that. Numbers that researchers compile don’t determine my destiny. I do. And you do too. There are all kinds of studies and statistics that tell you what you can and can’t do. But live life, and don’t worry about them. Soon, you’ll realize you’re well on your way to doing what was said couldn’t be done.

Any tips that I missed? What are your thoughts? What are some of the statistics you’ve defied? Share them!

MJ